Pappa wants mamma naked
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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