I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
