My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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