I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I want a musical about memes.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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