Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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