Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
