he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
