Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
