her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize