it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
