Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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