im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
