whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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