idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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