I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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