Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we're so committed to being not committed
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
