I hate your face
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
