I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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