let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
