i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
