dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize