Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
