is wine microwaveable?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
