i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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