My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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