Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
