Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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