The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
