HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You smell like stripper and shame
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
