On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize