You're so nebulous sometimes
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
