Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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