false alarm. still invincible.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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