Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
