Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
