I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
