I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize