ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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