I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
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if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
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I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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