pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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