what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
