Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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