I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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