Pappa wants mamma naked
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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