Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
