hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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