Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
