Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Mom said you looked used
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
