Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
