True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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