it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
