So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
