1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
