i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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