I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
