I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
