so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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