I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
