The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
