sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize