i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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