I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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