I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
